With the fiasco of Day 1 I did not get a chance to introduce Jake and I to all of you. Jake and I met at a high school dance our junior year. He was from a school over 2.5 hours away and through chance we met at a homecoming dance and really hit it off. The next year and a half of high school was spent running up our parents phone bills, sending over 5000 text a month and traveling 2.5 hours to each others houses every other weekend. The rest is history. We have now been together for 5 years and married for 2 and a half of them. We have a daughter, Maddilyn, who just turned 2 this month and she is the light of our life. Jake works 40hr weeks and I go to school full time from home, as well as blogging and taking care of our daughter. Like all of you, we wear many hats during the day.
Like many couples everyday life issues include: bills, work, money, school, children, and cleaning to name a few. These issues often get in the way of our relationship. Unlike the couples in the show we are not doing the 7 Day Challenge to save our marriage but we’re hopeful that it will strengthen it. In the spirit of full disclosure I want to tell you a little bit about our bedroom life.
Right now it isn’t terrible with an average once a week – sometimes more and sometimes less. However, thinking back to the beginning of our relationship, and up until the point that our daughter was born we have sex about 75% less often than we use to.
We find that if we do not maintain this weekly average the lack of sex begins to affect other areas of our life. For example, up until a few months ago we had experienced a long dry spell that had begun to affect our relationship in a serious and negative way. When we let the physical/romantic area of our relationship slide we found that it’s like living with our best friend. I have a partner in raising our child and in sharing our day to problems and joys but we kiss, flirt, cuddle and make love less. The decline in the romantic aspect of our relationship eventually trickled into other areas of our life. We began to argue more and make up less. Without making up disagreements lingered and became issues that led to larger fights.
Thinking back I wish we had known about this challenge because inevitably we used sex as a large part in solving our problems. We made an effort to have sex more regularly which made us feel more loving. This lead to kissing more and showing more affection. Communication opened back up and we were able to work through our problems.
Day 2: A Runny Nose Isn’t Sexy
In our house, spring means allergies. Yesterday, my allergies had kicked in and by bedtime I was feeling so miserable I passed out before Jake even came to bed. Thankfully, I had given Jake instructions to wake me in the event I fell asleep. If you’re following along you know that Day 2 is his night to take the lead. My husband woke me with soft caresses and kisses in all of the right places. He even included a short back rub. Normally, this would have been a turn on but really how turned on can I get with a head full of cotton, snot running out of one nostril and the other so plugged I had to breathe out of my mouth?! Needless to say last night was NOT spectacular but it wasn’t for lack of effort on Jake’s part. However, I muddled through and at least one of us ended up moderately satisfied.
I’m writing this late afternoon and we have already fulfilled day 3 – if you get what I mean. I could tell you all about it today..but I think I’ll make you wait until tomorrow. Why? Because it was delightful!